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3月30日

The deliberate absence

 

"She was a Phatom of delight"

--- W. Wordsworth (1875)

 

 

SHE was a Phantom of delight

 

When first she gleam'd upon my sight;

 

A lovely Apparition, sent

 

To be a moment's ornament:

 

Her eyes as stars of twilight fair;

 

Like twilight's, too, her dusky hair;

 

But all things else about her drawn

 

From May-time and the cheerful dawn;

 

A dancing shape, an image gay,

 

To haunt, to startle, and waylay.

 

 

I saw her upon nearer view,

 

A Spirit, yet a Woman too!

 

Her household motions light and free,

 

And steps of virgin liberty;

 

A countenance in which did meet

 

Sweet records, promises as sweet;

 

A creature not too bright or good

 

For human nature's daily food,

 

For transient sorrows, simple wiles,

 

Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears, and smiles.

 

 

And now I see with eye serene

 

The very pulse of the machine;

 

A being breathing thoughtful breath,

 

A traveller between life and death:

 

The reason firm, the temperate will,

 

Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;

 

A perfect Woman, nobly plann'd

 

To warn, to comfort, and command;

 

And yet a Spirit still, and bright

 

With something of an angel light.

 

 

 

 
I appear unfamiliar  with being in such a status, sigh, as if hadnt been here for years; it is hard to say whether this is liked or not, perhaps, this is so-called  the'void' mind where neither is there gain nor loss!
 
People say I am the one who always finds problems but not the case that problems emege themselves; well, it might be true, no one can tell, if he/she could, then he/she would, but he/she did not do so. It is just a matter of aging, of a reflection of personal life philosophy, of  time and of individual characters... isn't it?
 
 
I thought you'd help, but it is not the case, so I lost my patience and temper , felt insecure and thus become so hostile to everyone on this planet! Trust is such a burden for me, even one does not know when she feels so. Is it the end of the world, some say the heart of women is just like the needle down the ocean too puzzling to be understood, however, so is the heart of guys, by reason of them being kinda of the same creatures on this earth...
 
 
Neverthelss, the abolishment of traditional marriage in the ancient China should be appreciated and therefore I should count as a lucky female creature in sense of enjoying massive freedom.
 
 One often stands in the fire and be consumed every time, but got over-burned, dismissing the reasons for continuing to do so even though there is such a desire for the attmpt. 
Many things exist in the same space or even at the same time, they entail the same quality in spite of the apparent distinction from one another; One has indeed not ever abandoned her idea and ideology, instead, captures them in different form, involving or excluding unwanted materials! and poor-eqipped living beings.
 Many might never be able to conceive what I mean, yet, it is ok, I 'd prefer to have it in this way then, you may call it 'confusion'  or 'misunderstanding' or 'a gap of thought'... etc... Forgive me, my friends , beloved ones, and you whoever you are.
 
 
It is really not good to have two competely distinctive characters, you may say so as well if you are also the kind. I am for now trnasforming one to another, perhaps, to a creature abstracting some engry from being in different or my self-defined eternal kingdom! If it existed from your point of view, it indeed does in my view... ... ...
 
Buddha loves &blesses you all! 

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