非王不王, 是王非王, 王者不王是王, 先称王者不一定是王, 不称王者未必非王, 非王而王, 非王也! This quote leads me to think of millions of things, which also confirms what I have believed. If anything challenges my self-esteem, I should and would follow ideas of a rational being. The cluster of his instructions is the right path leading to the enlightenment.
If I am blind in some ways, I would have to be wise in some other ways, wouldnt I? I saw it but chose to neglect it, then I would have to forgo the unknown and expect the other alternative unknown, didnt I? No one could attempt to conceive the idea that once lived and embedded in one's mind. Nevertheless, it is there, I know it but on one else. While enjoying the ambiguous pain, I have my freedom; while trapped in desperation, I create the most powerful weapon; while looking into that mirror, I experience the state of being alive and emotion; while glimpsing at you, I am reminded of the laws of nature; while feeling different forms of existence, I abscond from the obsession; while traced back to the past, I remember you. In the end, I am all of the world and the world has gone through the entire me. I eventually and entirely enable to conceive the truth of the void -- the flip side of the mass is the void, reflected in numerous ways of the life.
As before, I lead myself to immerse in listening to music, undoubtedly, those types I have been appealing to. Although many of them that were brilliantly sung and lasted to the present time are expressed in the name of love rather than the other alternative ways, it would always be the same that the feeling led by the songs can substantially be diverse. Over here, one of the best lycrics singers is Barry Manilow, among whose music, 'Can't smile without you' and 'Lonely together' are pretty good ones. For those lyrics fans, I guess you would fancy them too. Among millions of crowds, no single mind seems to be able to share an exact identitical mentality but a similar one. Presumably, we as a only creature with the mind must feel lonely sometime and some ways. The fatal illness of us is often assoicated with the mind as the latter is our souls, isnt it? I am no longer afraid of staying alone nor living alone, rather, the threat is deviated from the failfure of idea transmissions. Since the human survival partly emerges from our capacity of sharing ideas, what if one day such a type of community activity creased? I would put the answer 'the death of soul', followed by the arise of philsophical zombies.
I dont know what sort of world it would be if there isnt any solid beliefs about anything, am I approaching to this status of the mind, I seem to guess so...
Lonely Together
Your eyes are sad eyes Mine are too It doesn't take too much to see What we've been through You lost your baby And me the same Ain't it true how love's a hurtin' game
Could I have this dance May I be so bold It's just my arms are empty And the night is so cold
Wouldn't it be fine bein' lonely together Wouldn't it be fine havin' a shoulder to share You could tell me how he broke your heart And I'll tell you how she broke mine And maybe later on I could take you home Now wouldn't it be sad bein' lonely all alone
A heart that's hurtin's Not hard to see I guess he promised you the world Like she did me But dry your eyes now You'll be just fine We can drown our achin' hearts in this glass of wine
Well I hate to say What's done is done It's just two can ease the pain Much better than one
Katie's 'Blame It On The Moon' came into play in my mind,
"Gonna blame it on the moon, Didn't want to fall in love again so soon. I was fine, feeling strong, Didn't want to fall in love with anyone. Now that it's gone too far to call for a halt, I'll blame it on the moon 'Cause it's not my fault; I didn't think I'd this would happen so soon ... I was happy to be free Didn't think I'd give myself so easily. Guilty feelings in the night As I wonder is it wrong to feel so right..."
Andy Williams' "moon river" appeared from the remote
"Moon river wider than a mile I'm crossing you in style some day oh dream maker you heart breaker wherever you're going I'm going our way two differs off to see the world there's such a lot of world to see we're after the same rainbow's end waiting round the bend my huckleberry friend moon river and me"
Down somewhere, there was sth arousing one's interest buried alive in the deep ocean. Sitting there and chatting with a friend as a part of the daily routine, a random turn made an acquaintance with one 's profile. How delightful it was !
Remember his fined voice, beautiful skin, charming look, lovely character and gentleman behaviour... ...
Today, all these qualities have just been reflected on another being one has and will not known , yet, such qualities are unforgettable forever!
On the fimilar street, again, a profile that seems somewhat familar but that much so has arisen up the sight. One stopped and peeped at that object, and then left as if there was nothing ever there!
One knows that it is just a matter of time as those passed.
Whether it is an illsusion , things always chang their form over time but appear to be identical to those one has been dreaming of.
One is used to assume that there were not many but at least some certain things belonging to one, one time this year, the truth has been revealed that it was just a misconception. Since then, the heart completely sunk down the bottom of the ocean. One's heart was hurt, the words were little, and nor could any reasoning be resumed. One now realised a very true fact that nothing can ever be reliable. One has to fully depend on oneself, phychisally and emotionally.
Never be overthrown by others but my own destiny
Never be conquered by tears but my own melancholy
Never be beaten by others but my own indolence
Never be disappointed by others but my own illusion
Never be abandoned by others but my own insistence
Never be hurt by others but my own misconception
Once having understood two contrasting facets of one view, then one can stand one's feet solidly on the floor of one's destiny in one's life span.
One seems somewhat to experience a difficult of generating a positive view towards the world, or human exactly. Why there are such a vast majority of people immersing themselves in envying others by doing some immoral and uncivilised things to hurt those having done nothing harmful to her or him. One therefore traced it back to the inital cause, which are "envy" plus "vanity". One could do nothing about it, but observe it, what a 'wondful' world it is, is it not?
In a world with no true love, one saw through it ages ago; but when one is facing all these facts jumping in the front the eyes, it seems another matter. If the world is designed to be cold, just let it be, any subtle warmness by illousions in the names of many kinds, one can resist them, since one understands the reality behind them. But what one should do to tell those so close to one, they are just keeping immersing in the illusions. How can one be supposed to give them a hand to deal with the mess they have caused. One sometimes wish to care for no one, and leads one's own life with no attachment on anyone on this planet.
one used to have a bundle of dreams, but all are gone, gone to a place called 'heaven', what is the most depressing is doing something that has to be done for responsibility. Neither love nor much ?? could ever meet my needs, since one has no faith in them, but acting on it as a human. One has already become a zombie with no similarity to a human's inner needs.
One tries hard to avoid as little loathing as possible, yet, one is already half agony and half struggle. Sometimes, even wish humanity to extinct.
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The Vanity of Human Wishes
by Samuel Johnson
Let observation with extensive view, Survey mankind, from China to Peru; Remark each anxious toil, each eager strife, And watch the busy scenes of crowded life; Then say how hope and fear, desire and hate, O'erspread with snares the clouded maze of fate, Where wavering man, betrayed by venturous pride, To tread the dreary paths without a guide; As treacherous phantoms in the mist delude, Shuns fancied ills, or chases airy good. How rarely reason guides the stubborn choice, Rules the bold hand, or prompts the suppliant voice, How nations sink, by darling schemes oppressed, When vengeance listens to the fool's request. Fate wings with every wish the afflictive dart, Each gift of nature, and each grace of art, With fatal heat impetuous courage glows, With fatal sweetness elocution flows, Impeachment stops the speaker's powerful breath, And restless fire precipitates on death.
But scarce observed the knowing and the bold, Fall in the general massacre of gold; Wide-wasting pest! that rages unconfined, And crowds with crimes the record of mankind, For gold his sword the hireling ruffian draws, For gold the hireling judge distorts the laws; Wealth heaped on wealth, nor truth nor safety buys, The dangers gather as the treasures rise.
Let history tell where rival kings command, And dubious title shakes the madded land, When statutes glean the refuse of the sword, How much more safe the vassal than the lord, Low skulks the hind beneath the rage of power, And leaves the wealthy traitor in the tower, Untouched his cottage, and his slumbers sound, Though confiscation's vultures hover round.
The needy Traveller, serene and gay, Walks the wild heath, and sings his toil away. Does envy seize thee? crush the upbraiding joy, Increase his riches and his peace destroy, New fears in dire vicissitude invade, The rustling brake alarms, and quivering shade, Nor light nor darkness bring his pain relief, One shows the plunder, and one hides the thief.
Yet still the general cry the skies assails And gain and grandeur load the tainted gales; Few know the toiling statesman's fear or care, The insidious rival and the gaping heir.
Once more, Democritus, arise on Earth, With cheerful wisdom and instructive mirth, See motley life in modern trappings dressed, And feed with varied fools the eternal jest: Thou who couldst laugh where want enchained caprice, Toil crushed conceit, and man was of a piece; Where wealth unloved without a mourner died; And scarce a sycophant was fed by pride; Where ne'er was known the form of mock debate, Or seen a new-made mayor's unwieldy state; Where change of favorites made no change of laws, And senates heard before they judged a cause; How wouldst thou shake at Britain's modish tribe, Dart the quick taunt, and edge the piercing gibe? Attentive truth and nature to descry, And pierce each scene with philosophic eye. To thee were solemn toys or empty show, The robes of pleasure and the veils of woe: All aid the farce, and all thy mirth maintain, Whose joys are causeless, or whose griefs are vain.
Such was the scorn that filled the sage's mind, Renewed at every glance on humankind; How just that scorn ere yet thy voice declare, Search every state, and canvass every prayer.
Unnumbered suppliants crowd preferment's gate, Athirst for wealth, and burning to be great; Delusive fortune hear the incessant call, They mount, they shine, evaporate, and fall. On every stage the foes of peace attend, Hate dogs their flight, and insult mocks their end. Love ends with hope, the sinking statesman's door Pours in the morning worshiper no more; For growing names the weekly scribbler lies, To growing wealth the dedicator flies, From every room descends the painted face, That hung the bright palladium of the place, And smoked in kitchens, or in auctions sold, To better features yields the frame of gold; For now no more we trace in every line Heroic worth, benevolence divine: The form distorted justifies the fall, And detestation rids the indignant wall.
But will not Britain hear the last appeal, Sign her foes doom, or guard her favorites zeal; Through freedom's sons no more remonstrance rings, Degrading nobles and controlling kings; Our supple tribes repress their patriot throats, And ask no questions but the price of votes; With weekly libels and septennial ale, Their wish is full to riot and to rail.
In full-blown dignity, see Wolsey stand, Law in his voice, and fortune in his hand: To him the church, the realm, their powers consign, Thro' him the rays of regal bounty shine, Turned by his nod the stream of honour flows, His smile alone security bestows: Still to new heights his restless wishes tower, Claim leads to claim, and power advances power; Till conquest unresisted ceased to please, And rights submitted, left him none to seize. At length his sovereign frowns - the train of state Mark the keen glance, and watch the sign to hate. Where'er he turns he meets a stranger's eye, His suppliants scorn him, and his followers fly; Now drops at once the pride of awful state, The golden canopy, the glittering plate, The regal palace, the luxurious board, The liveried army, and the menial Lord. With age, with cares, with maladies oppressed, He seeks the refuge of monastic rest. Grief aids disease, remembered folly stings, And his last sighs reproach the faith of kings.
Speak thou, whose thoughts at humble peace repine, Shall Wolsey's wealth, with Wolsey's end be thine? Or liv'st thou now, with safer pride content, The richest landlord on the banks of trent? For why did Wolsey by the steps of fate, On weak foundations raise the enormous weight? Why but to sink beneath misfortune's blow, With louder ruin to the gulfs below?
What gave great Villiers to the assassin's knife, And fixed disease on Harley's closing life? What murdered Wentworth, and what exiled Hyde, By kings protected and to kings allied? What but their wish indulged in courts to shine, And power too great to keep or to resign?
When first the college rolls receive his name, The young enthusiast quits his ease for fame; Resistless burns the fever of renown, Caught from the strong Contagion of the Gown; O'er Bodley's dome his future labours spread, And Bacon's mansion trembles o'er his head; Are these thy views? proceed, illustrious youth, And virtue guard thee to the throne of truth, Yet should thy soul indulge the generous heat, Till captive science yields her last retreat; Should reason guide thee with her brightest ray, And pour on misty doubts resistless day; Should no false kindness lure to loose delight, Nor praise relax, nor difficulty fright; Should tempting novelty thy cell refrain, And sloth effuse her opiate fumes in vain; Should beauty blunt on fops her fatal dart, Nor claim the triumph of a lettered heart; Should no disease thy torpid veins invade, Nor melancholy's phantoms haunt thy shade; Yet hope not life from grief or danger free, Nor think the doom of man reversed for thee: Deign on the passing world to turn thine eyes, And pause awhile from learning to be wise; There mark what ills the scholar's life assail, Toil, envy, want, the patron, and the jail. See nations slowly wise, and meanly just, To buried merit raise the tardy bust. If dreams yet flatter, once again attend, Hear Lydiat's Life, and Galileo's end.
Nor deem, when learning her lost prize bestows The glittering eminence exempt from foes; See when the vulgar 'scaped, despised or awed, Rebellion's vengeful talons seize on Laud. From meaner minds, though smaller fines content The plundered palace or sequestered rent; Marked out by dangerous parts he meets the shock, And fatal learning leads him to the block: Around his tomb let art and genius weep, But hear his death, ye blockheads, hear and sleep.
The festal blazes, the triumphal show, The ravished standard, and the captive foe, The senate's thanks, the gazette's pompous tale, With force resistless o'er the brave prevail. Such bribes the rapid Greek o'er Asia whirled, For such the steady Romans shook the world; For such in distant lands the Britons shine, And stain with blood the Danube or the Rhine; This power has praise, that virtue scarce can warm, Till fame supplies the universal charm. Yet reason frowns on war's unequal game, Where wasted nations raise a single name, And mortgaged states their grandsires wreaths regret From age to age in everlasting debt; Wreaths which at last the dear-bought right convey To rust on medals, or on stones decay.
On what foundation stands the warrior's Pride? How just his hopes let Swedish Charles decide; A frame of adamant, a soul of fire, No Dangers fright him, and no labours tire; O'er love, o'er force, extends his wide domain, Unconquered lord of pleasure and of pain; No joys to him pacific scepters yield, War sounds the trump, he rushes to the field; Behold surrounding kings their power combine, And one capitulate, and one resign; Peace courts his hand, but spread her charms in vain; "Think Nothing gained," he cries, "till nought remain, On Moscow's walls till Gothic standards fly, And all is mine beneath the polar sky." The march begins in military state, And nations on his eye suspended wait; Stern famine guards the solitary coast, And winter barricades the realms of frost; He comes, nor want nor cold his course delay;-- Hide, blushing glory, hide Pultowa's Day: The vanquished hero leaves his broken bands, And shows his miseries in distant Lands; Condemned a needy supplicant to wait, While ladies interpose, and slaves debate. But did not chance at length her error mend? Did no subverted empire mark his end? Did rival monarchs give the fatal wound? Or hostile millions press him to the ground? His fall was destined to a barren strand, A petty fortress, and a dubious hand; He left the name, at which the world grew pale, To point a moral, or adorn a tale.
All times their scenes of pompous woes afford, From Persia's tyrant to Bavaria's lord. In gay hostility, and barbarous pride, With half mankind embattled at his side, Great Xerxes comes to seize the certain prey, And starves exhausted regions in his way; Attendant flattery counts his myriads o'er, Till counted myriads sooth his pride no more; Fresh praise is tried till madness fires his mind, The waves he lashes, and enchains the Wind; New powers are claimed, new powers are still bestowed, Till rude resistance lops the spreading god; The daring Greeks deride the martial show, And heap their valleys with the gaudy foe; The insulted sea with humbler thoughts he gains, A single skiff to speed his flight remains; The encumbered oar scarce leaves the dreaded coast Through purple billows and a floating host.
The bold Bavarian, in a luckless hour, Tries the dread summits of Cesarean power, With unexpected legions bursts away, And sees defenceless realms receive his sway; Short sway! fair Austria spreads her mournful charms, The queen, the beauty, sets the world in arms; From hill to hill the beacons rousing blaze Spreads wide the hope of plunder and of praise; The fierce Croatian, and the wild Hussar, And all the sons of ravage crowd the war; The baffled prince in honour's flattering bloom Of hasty greatness finds the fatal doom, His foes derision, and his subjects blame, And steals to death from anguish and from shame. Enlarge my life with multitude of days, In health, in sickness, thus the suppliant prays; Hides from himself his state, and shuns to know, That life protracted is protracted woe. Time hovers o'er, impatient to destroy, And shuts up all the passages of joy: In vain the gifts the bounteous seasons pour, The fruit autumnal, and the vernal flower, With listless eyes the dotard views the store, He views, and wonders that they please no more, Now pall the tasteless meats, and joyless wines, And luxury with sighs her slave resigns. Approach ye minstrels, try the soothing strain, And yield the tuneful lenitives of pain: No sounds alas would touch the impervious ear, Though dancing mountains witnessed Orpheus near; Nor lute nor lyre his feeble powers attend, Nor sweeter music of a virtuous friend, But everlasting dictates crowd his tongue, Perversely grave, or positively wrong. The still returning tale, and lingering jest, Perplex the fawning niece and pampered guest, While growing hopes scarce awe the gathering sneer, And scarce a legacy can bribe to hear; The watchful guests still hunt the last offence, The daughter's petulance, the son's expense, Improve his heady rage with treacherous skill, And mould his passions till they make his will.
Unnumbered maladies each joint invade, Lay siege to life and press the dire blockade; But unextinguished avarice still remains, And dreaded losses aggravate his pains; He turns, with anxious heart and crippled hands, His bonds of debt, and mortgages of land; Or views his coffers with suspicious eyes, Unlocks his gold, and counts it till he dies.
But grant, the virtues of a temperate prime Bless with an age exempt from scorn or crime; An age that melts in unperceived decay, And glides in modest innocence away; Whose peaceful day benevolence endears, Whose night congratulating conscience cheers; The general favorite as the general friend: Such age there is, and who could wish its end?
Yet even on this her load misfortune flings, To press the weary minutes flagging wings: New sorrow rises as the day returns, A sister sickens, or a daughter mourns. Now kindred merit fills the sable bier, Now lacerated friendship claims a tear. Year chases year, decay pursues decay, Still drops some joy from withering life away; New forms arise, and different views engage, Superfluous lags the veteran on the stage, Till pitying nature signs the last release, And bids afflicted worth retire to peace.
But few there are whom hours like these await, Who set unclouded in the gulfs of fate. From Lydia's monarch should the search descend, By Solon cautioned to regard his end, In life's last scene what prodigies surprise, Fears of the brave, and follies of the wise? From Marlborough's eyes the streams of dotage flow, And Swift expires a driveler and a show.
The teeming mother, anxious for her race, Begs for each birth the fortune of a face: Yet Vane could tell what ills from beauty spring; And Sedley cursed the Form that pleased a king. Ye nymphs of rosy lips and radiant eyes, Whom pleasure keeps too busy to be wise, Whom joys with soft varieties invite By day the frolic, and the dance by night, Who frown with vanity, who smile with art, And ask the latest fashion of the heart, What care, what rules your heedless charms shall save, Each nymph your rival, and each youth your slave? An envious breast with certain mischief glows, And slaves, the maxim tells, are always foes. Against your fame with fondness hate combines, The rival batters, and the lover mines. With distant voice neglected virtue calls, Less heard, and less the faint remonstrance falls; Tired with contempt, she quits the slippery reign, And pride and prudence take her seat in vain. In crowd at once, where none the pass defend, The harmless freedom, and the private friend. The guardians yield, by force superior plied; By interest, prudence; and by flattery, pride. Here beauty falls betrayed, despised, distressed, And hissing infamy proclaims the rest.
Where then shall hope and fear their objects find? Must dull suspense corrupt the flagrant mind? Must helpless man, in ignorance sedate, Swim darkling down the current of his fate? Must no dislike alarm, no wishes rise, No cries attempt the mercies of the skies? Enquirer, cease, petitions yet remain, Which heaven may hear, nor deem religion vain. Still raise for good the supplicating voice, But leave to heaven the measure and the choice. Safe in his power, whose eyes discern afar The secret ambush of a specious prayer. Implore his aid, in his decisions rest, Secure whate'er he gives, he gives the best. Yet when the sense of sacred presence fires, And strong devotion to the skies aspires, Pour forth thy fervors for a healthful mind, Obedient passions, and a will resigned; For love, which scarce collective man can fill; For patience sovereign o'er transmuted ill; For faith, that panting for a happier seat, Thinks death kind nature's signal of retreat: These goods for man the laws of heaven ordain, These goods he grants, who grants the power to gain; With these celestial wisdom calms the mind, And makes the happiness she does not find.
A changed environment can unexpectedly deepen the issues that are embedded under the shadow. Many raised the same issues that I do not want to mention about but have to deal with with a natural and friendly smile.
Everyone pursues for different dream, I dont know whether it is my fate or my confusion resulted from my thinking and experience. Things that the most like are not those I am committed to while people that the majority avoid are those where I immerse my feeling.
Loneliness is not that bad for me since it has another name called quietness where there is nothing that I am not willing to perceive.
My mind has constantly been in a journey, maybe this place makes me think of sth in a certain way, or , I am really thinking so. Too much signs have made me trace back to that thought.
Certain things are present with their own striking attractions , and they remain unchanged in my mind over time. The more I think of them, the more they are confirmed to be important to me. I miss it and will never forget it, I know I am leaving it very soon , perhaps, I will never even see this thing and this does make me somewhat upset. This thing is just too wonderful to be forgotten, I had it once upon time , but made a rushy decision from which I was departed forever. I even have no guts to pick it up again, instead, just eased myself by saying 'go with the flow' . Even, I have tried to avoid coming across it, I once thought that it was such a delightful avoidance, but It was not my genuine intent. Saying so and feeling so make no difference in action as I will never re-think of looking at it and picking it up since I clearly know that my having it would lead to my desire to be away from my homwland, which also creates a harsh dilemma that I cannot afford to take against my responsibilities for others. What should I do about it, nothing apart from sighing with my sorrow in the middle of some nights or, being sarcastic about myself. In the meantime , I have to endeavour to seek for a copy of this thing though there is no such a thing with such excellent qualities in the homeland.
Life is sometimes a game of choices, isnt it? you can either be smiling at your choices or laughing at yourself, nevertheless, it only appears in the form of memories at the end of the day.
I was in a market and fancy some fishes, but they wouldnt be alive if I buy them home, so, I have to leave it and merely take a look at them prior to my leaving. This reminds me of a film called 'possession', I am trying to stuff an idea into my mind that it is enough to retain them once upon time , which might make them more attractive, more memoriable and more precious.
Many cannot understand the logic of suffering for other beings, the following benefits will prevail:
Our negative karma will be purified
Our merit will increase
our compassion will become stronger
our mind will further be developed so as to bear more adversity with courage
our compassion will eventually be transformed into the universal compassion of a Buddha.
Our mind is like an open wound, the existence of sufferings in any forms provide us with enormous chances, thereby if we genuinely realise their intrinsic value and take them on ourselves for others, then, as followed, the wound could be healed up towards the world up there!
sitting here for some hours, I dont know if the mind is still cystal clear, after all, it is a late night or early morning, shall I say.
listening to a song from a friend called '25 mins', the sorrow I would have had in the past no longer seems to arise, which made me question myself, therefore, I as usual start the jounrey of my reasoning. I wish I could be somewhat passionate like I was, yet, it is replaced by an indifferent attitude. If love changes its form over time, then my passion probably does so as well. I just envy what the singer is eager for, for me, there is nothing there. There seems many things going on in the past, but all of which are too far to be brought to the eyes now; for now, there is nothing worth reflecting, not to mention, remebering.
"after sometime I finally made my mind, she is the girl and I really want to make her mind, I am reseaching everywhere to find her again, to tell her that I love her and I am so sorry about the things I have done... I miss your kiss, ... against the will, I am going home again and wish me back to the time we were more than friends... "
I no longer desire to film all the past, they are like burned paper that we cannot take a tight grasp of , that time blurs the shape and colour, as followed, the remaining is left in the form of scars, overrunning the passion that existed once upon time.
fortunately, I fully perceive the theorem concerning the relationship bewteen the gain and the loss, encouraging me to deliberately abandon things in exchange for the primary goal. I am fully committed to my religious belief, and endeavour to comply with the key commandments, with the hope of fulfilling the dream! Against the will, I am abandoning what the most hesitate to give up;
--- hope that I know demands a huge scarifice of mine
Silence means everything, But no one else can see, Only you know what it means, Because you hide it from everyone.
You hide the truth about your life. Hide your scars with long sleeve shirts. Tears start to fall down your face, And you just wipe them away.
You smile like your okay, And laugh like your not hurt, Walk around with your head up high, Just hoping no one will notice its a lie.
You pray everyday that you will die, Because this world is too much for you to take, You turn on a sad song, And cry yourself to sleep.
Everyone has got his or her realm full of darkness and sorrow, where one hardly comes across anyone in the same boat, since there is no such an identical boat! But I understand it without no aid of your telling me, I just know about it since I have had an eye on the world, and I perceive it, concenive it, and reflect on it; nothing can be hidden from my eye til one day I do realise that I hide everything from myself, as followed, I am defeated by myself and betrayed by myself. So clear to me, but never be so about my own things! I wonder if I have meaningfully lived for myself?
I have attempted to be fully engaged in experiencing them, the more, the worse, am I collecting something or verifying the pre-settled thoughts!
One likes chocolate, she does not, Ooo, she sometimes eats it ...
She felt like having something sweet, so cut a small piece of chocolate pudding; yet the taste is so werid, it gives no delightful sweet tatste, over sudden, she dropped off the spon, stopped eating it. Chocolate is no longer sweet despite that it used to be for her.
She wants to shed some tear becasue the chocolate is not sweet, nor is it bitter since she does not like chocolate, then what is the point to have it a long time ago. Then, one knows that she has changed, completely, one does not know what direction she has changed to... she even does not want to know about it, the more one knows, the more drief one would experience, so she simply chose not to keep an eye on it, but does it solve the issues that she would have to deal with and fianalise, or leave it for one's rest of the life.
A wrong path has a permanent effect on the taste of chocolate; but she will still keep eating it at least she is apparently eating chocolate, which would counts her as the normal.
Chocolate is sweet, do you think so , my friends, even you do not leave your messges here, but I know you always read my werid words, sure, I know about you!
I am wrong with an attempt to forget things obsessing me due to having always been treating myself as the centre, feeling things by my senses, saying things for the sake of my own, sensing things from my point of view, and expressing the feeling reflecting my own desire; why not viewing this from different perspective, perhaps, other things and beings are the centre, therefore, I conceive the idea that instead of erasing certain things and beings, I should foregt the existence of my own as if I was one of others excluded from the centre, then I will be out of struggle, depression and grief.
I could not abandon sth,
because I want to hold myself,
therefore, to achieve the former,
I could try to abandon myself!
Oh, my Buddha, I am eventually a being in the whole universe but not only in this human society!
All wisdom arises at a surprising moment, a moment that we can hardly measure by our time measurement;
A woman full of tears said that as I my son has died, our child, now I have no one who I love in this world apart from you, yet, who are you of mine? you have never recognizsed who I am; you walked by me, you always kept pace to walk; I used to think that I could capture you through our child. With his growing up, how his brown is shaped and the gesture when staying quiet exactly looks like you, all of which always reminded me of you; Unfortunately, over a night, he left me, bringing me back to the lonely one, who is even more lonesome than ever. You might know, no, you just approximately feel how deep I have loved you. Yet, who else would bring the white roses to you on your birthday every year? The vast will be put the same place but with the emptiness; just as me, whose weak breathing will fade away. I can no longer carry on writing more words, my dear!Take care...
This moving film made me sink into a cluster of thoughts, those sorrowful ones... every movement of the woman's feeling and intention reveals the agony beating her to death of the soul.
Seeing her once, twice, the third time... made no impression in your mind; several acquitances with him are made in the same place at the same time but never recoganise her... not to mention, put her at the centre of his heart...
He kept saying I would see you as soon as returning from his missions, but he never did...
For her, what does the friendship count? what does the dignity count? Soasfar he asks, she would go to him, even in a tumb, she would still do so. As he had such a mysterious power dragging her to him! At last, he got her letters telling all that happened. He was sitting in the sofa and said nothing... I doubt whether he could feel anything, he think that he is wealthy and knowledgable, which seem to allow him to play around with others; Yes, there are too many people who appearntly look superior to others but their hearts are worthless, worthless and worthless... the material world varnishes the most precious items ...
If it was ever a chance to pour out what I could have said, I might have done so, but I am not able to act so.
People say, time kills everything, no! It has never been a remedy at all, rather, is a storage place where all meta-goods are located. It was a hole where no bottom can be ever visiable nor reached, the longer the goods stays, the more difficult it is searched for. Hence, the life with the more reminders of the past is more likely to be trapped and manipulated by such a hole. It was a set of genes formulated in a regular pattern whether or not the process is carried out.
The harder steel is, the easier it is snapped;
The darker hair colour is, the more difficult it is dyed;
The softer an item is, the easier it is shaped.
The stronger...., the weaker...
It was a tub of water, time leaves it with dust, time gives it weight, then it sinks down the bottom of the tub, appears invisible and ferments at last, time is accordingly not a remedy but a potential weapon to exhaust the spirit and weaken the body.